Friday, January 30, 2009

Lane's First 5 Friday-Commercials and A Thank You

Before I get into the madness of another First 5, I need to thank Meredith over at 24 hours for an award she gave me last week. My apologies for the lateness of my gratefulness, but I am truly honored you thought of my little blog to give an award to.


The Super Bowl is in a couple of days as pretty much everyone knows. The game, the pageantry, and the history will all be unfolding before our very eyes play by play. The one thing that almost all will be watching is the commercials. Because, no matter how bad the game is, the commercials will usually be meaningful, interesting, and in the case of most of the following, downright damn funny.

Here is a First 5 List of my favorite Super Bowl Commercials.


5. Clydesdale Interrupted-Bud Light. I truly think that this is the best of an excellent series. It's Cute, funny, thought provoking...okay well maybe not thought provoking, but the rest is true.




4. The Dangers of Equine Gas-Bud Light. I almost peed my pants the first time I saw this one.



3. Terrible Terry Tate, Office Linebacker-Reebok. Almost makes you want to be productive at work, doesn't it?



2. Mean Joe Green-Coke. Geez, I hated him. Well, okay, from a purely football sense, I hated him for what devestation he created through my beloved Cowboys. But, this commercial was simple, but pure greatness.




1. Cat Herders-EDS. I'm not sure that I had ever laughed harder at a commercial. It's still one I can watch again and again. It has everything, amazing graphics of a herd of felines, nostalgia, and it's funny as hell.





Guess, I always wondered why I can't stop drinking Bud Light or coke. That's all from First 5 Central, I hope that you all have a coke and a smile...and that your favorite team wins the Super Bowl. (As long as your favorite team is red and has a bird on the helmet.


----Lane

Programing Note: For you Steeler fans I will have a Tribute Tuesday over an interesting part of your history. Stay tuned.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Ballad of Bud-Bud-Another Prompt of the Mama Kat

Thanks to the coolness of Mama Kat, the rest of us bloggers get to do something we really like....type type tippity type type. Head on over, have some fun and spill your guts.

The prompt I'm choosing today is #1 Tell us about a stray animal you took in.

It's hard to talk about a life. The measure of a living being just doesn't add up as much on paper or virtual slabs of print as they meant to the people who knew them. Plus, there is a part of that being that will never be known...the things and memories that are only truly theirs and no one else's.

Such is the case with a young part Lhasa Apso. It was the very early nineties and I had come home from college to notice that my Dad had taken in a golden retriever named Jed from a citified cousin. Jed enjoyed running around, but the simple fact was he was lonely. The only other dog on the place was a poodle named Chalice. Jed was a great dog with a friendly disposition, but the poodle was a bitch, in more ways than one. Let's just say she had a diva personality that only her family could love.

Well, early one morning a black and white Lhasa Apsoish dog decided to change this. He snuck into the fence and put himself in the backyard with Jed. My dad walked out and looked a little quizzically at the little dog with matted hair with burrs all over him. I know some animal lovers will hate this next statement, but it is important for anyone to understand that my dad does NOT like strays on the place. A strange dog can bring a lot of unexpected problems such as rabies and a bad attitude that is bad for the people, other animals, and the livestock. General procedure is run 'em off or shoot 'em.

But, Jed seemed happy with the new visitor, so dad let the status quo alone. He put out the normal amount of food for Jed and watched as Jed allowed this new dog to eat. There was no threat or growling or anything. So, dad, decided to let this dog be Jed's Buddy...and that was his name...Buddy.

Over the next several months, Buddy and Jed grew in friendship and my dad took out each and everyone of the burrs and now we had three dogs....the inside Diva and the outside compadres. It's always strange, but life has a way of changing a happy situation and the change would be that Jed would finally die. The inside diva, Chalice, was also at an advanced age of 13 with cancer spots all over her body. So, my dad decided that Buddy would be the 'transitional' dog and allowed him to move inside with the inside diva. He went to all the hair appointments Chalice went to. (Did I mention she was a diva that had to have her nails and hair done twice a month?)

The first time, Buddy or Bud-Bud as we had gotten to call him went to hair dresser for himself, they made the mistake of putting a nice red bow on his head. He took care of that nagging problem as planted his face in the mud and walked like a four legged wheelbarrow until the bow detached itself from his noggin...much to my mom's chagrin.

We noticed a lot about Buddy in that time as a house dog that we never knew. For instance he had a deathly fear of thunder and lightening, which makes his time outside and on the lamb more amazing. He also really was scared of us getting mad at some of his dog antics. If he didn't quite make it to the outside before the floodgates left his body, he would whimper and show true remorse. We decided that some one must've left him on the side of the road after abusing him. It was decided that punishment for this dog would be quiet scolding as the rest was considered too harsh for his quiet sensibilities.

In three years of the Bud Bud inside life, Chalice died. She was 16 and the house was slightly distraught. It would've been worse if we didn't have a middle aged black and white replacement who had a tendency to just make you laugh. He wasn't the usual hyper fun dog, but more of a speed bump on the carpet that you might trip over. The dog liked his sleep. His under bite and sad eyes gave you a feeling that he was suffering from a rather large and lengthy hangover. Four years before, he was probably close to getting shot. Now, he was the 'king' of the casa.

As I was in my real adult years, I would visit home and Bud was my dog. He would give me three minutes of pure happiness, tail wagging, head butting joy before retiring for the nap to recuperate from this activity. He would sleep with me whenever dad went to work. He would stay up with me to the whee hours of the morning. Okay, he would sleep on the top of the couch as I would surf the web, IM friends, or watch movies. At one point he fell so dead asleep that he actually fell of the couch between it and the wall. The next night he ran (which was a rarity) and got all the way to the couch...stopped...then backed up and laid on the floor staring accusatory at the couch.

Bud Bud died at home at either a very advanced age or six months older than 9. He started out his life as a dog that was unwanted and abused...he ended up revered and loved even almost a decade after his passing by, not just me, but all that knew him.

For a pet, can there be any better legacy?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Wordful Wednesday- Addsy's Swingin' Into Three!

Monday marked the third year of life for my little girl, Addsy. As you can see, the occassion was celebrated the usual way. A visit to Mop and Pop's house for some cake, pizza, and some swingin' time with her favorite feline, KK; alias Spuds Kitty Kat Fluffy Buckles Barkers Gunderson.

She has turned into one of the sweetest little girls I have ever seen. (I know, totally biased opinion, but she is.) She is pretty darn tough as demonstrated by getting hit in the head by a reckless, but shockingly impressive kicked soccer ball from a range of thirty yards. (Sure I posted that already in my Not Me Monday, but it was a sight, folks.)

Happy Birthday, Addsy!!

Check out the Seven Clown Circus for more Wordful Wednesdays!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

Tribute Tuesday-A Super Bowl Edition


Thanks to Wayne, at Wayne's Window to the World, for sponsoring all of this.

The year was 2000. It was about this time and the St. Louis Rams were about to take on the Tennessee Titans for Super Bowl XXXIV in the Super Dome. The Titans were a Cinderella Team. They had just gotten by Buffalo in a Wild Card game with the "Music City Miracle" (Check YOUTUBE for that one) and had gone on the road to defeat Indianapolis and Jacksonville to meet the powerhouse Rams.

It was a story that has played out time and time again on countless arenas, fields, pitches (For you Wayne), and courts. David vs Goliath...the great vs the up and coming....For those that remember that game, it was a classic. The Rams got up 16-0. The Titans came back and tied the game. Then the Rams hit a bomb to go up by seven...on the next Titans drive...time ran out as the Titans receiver reached for the goal line...but fell a yard short.


But, there was another underdog story that was truly Cinderella-like.




Kurt Warner.

As a Cowboys fan, I paid little attention to the Warner story. But, I was aware of it. He came out of training camp the starter, simply because the guy in front of him was injured. His backstory was he was cut by the Packers...got a job bagging groceries for just above minimum wage...and then made the circuit in the AFL and NFL Europe. When Trent Green...the unquestioned starter went down...the Rams were forced to try this rather green (forgive the pun) 29 year old 'rookie'. The Rams won the Super Bowl and then went to the next one where another story was taking place in New England named Tom Brady and the Rams fell.

Then dream turned for Kurt.

For the next several years he dealt with failure..finally getting cut by the Rams. He then was picked up by the Giants where he couldn't win the starting job. Talk of his age began to make the circles. People thought he was afraid to take a hit. Soon he hit what was known as the 'Dregs of the NFL' south of Detroit that is. Arizona took him as a backup.

That's when you know that your career is probably in the rearview mirror. When you can't make the starting line up in an awful organization. As you know now, he made history. He became the ONLY man to take the Cardinals to a Super Bowl.

For that fact alone he should be in the Hall of Fame.

Not Me Monday


Monday arrives again....right on time. Before the first bell rings, it is time to share what I didn't do last week. Thanks again to MckMama for being the originator of all this insanity.

I did NOT pine away for NFL games as the league helps wean us off of football this weekend. I did NOT secretly wish for the XFL or USFL to begin again. I do NOT hope that Kurt Warner has an amazing game next Sunday...because his story is NOT at all interesting, unusual, or inspiring.

I did NOT stay up too late all week last week for little to no reason. As an educator, that is not something that is responsible. I did NOT 'phone in' two lessons this week with little to no preparation. I am always prepared. I do NOT secretly hate the month of January because it is NOT still half a year away from freedom.

I did NOT allow myself to get irritated at Addsy, this week. I would NOT ever do that. She did NOT throw a toy in anger after refusing to follow a directive. Since, I am the calm mature type of dad, I did NOT pick up same toy and throw it two rooms away just to prove my superiority in the skill of throwing.

I did NOT secretively wonder if Itty Bitty will do something that I never did...play in the NFL. I did NOT wince in pain as she ran to give me a hug and.... guys, I do NOT need to finish that sentence do I?

My girls and I did NOT play a game of 'football' in the living room Friday. We did NOT have fun...and both of the them absolutely did NOT take me down.

It is NOT Addsy's birthday today! We did NOT have her birthday party yesterday. We did NOT see all of our loved ones as we did NOT celebrate the third year of her birth. I did NOT realize how little she resembles the baby of 2006 and how much she resembles Sneaky Momma's old first grade class. I also did not, from a range of about twenty five yards, kick a Nerf soccer ball with a majestically curving arc to land directly on said birthday girl's forehead. I also did NOT celebrate the achievement with those all around me after checking on Addsy...who by the way thought it to be funny as hell, too. I did NOT suffer with Sneaky Momma as lack of sleep finally caught up with us last night.

Speaking of Sneaky Momma, she did not work her butt off to make sure the party, cake, etc was spectacular. She did NOT make the coolest/warmest quilt for our dear Addsy.

As for the far away history, I did NOT get way more comments about my fictional 'Green Eggs and Ham' then I truly expected. I really am ashamed, dear Reader(s), that I took a cheap shot at humor by quoting Dr. Seuss. In the future, I will NOT quote some famous book, person, or movie/TV character simply because they used the word NOT in their quote.

By the way, I did NOT inhale.


-----Lane

Friday, January 23, 2009

First 5 Friday-Is There A Song in Your Heart?

Music soothes the savage beast....it calms the soul...feeds the heart....makes you do dumb, impulsive things....it seduces....it causes teenagers to roll the windows down and pump the volume up when you're in traffic together; thus drowning out the sports talk show you're listening to; tempting you to get out and throttle the pimply half man behind you in a car that was bought for him by his parents who have more money in their couch cushions then you make in your whole check for the month.

Wow, was I ranting? I can never tell.

Let's get this train back on the right track. The point is that music can bring you where you want to be, take you back where you once were, and let you remember who you once were. It can make you happy, sad, or nostalgic. Such is the power lyrics and rhythms. This is a double First 5 Friday as we look, just from the list I had as a pimply half man in an '84 Chevy Silverado circa 1988-89 and what they have changed to as a supersized version of that teenage Lane.

First 5 Most Meaningful Songs Pre-1990

5. The Final Countdown-Starship. I was big into sports....okay, I still am. But, I was in the throes of an 0-10 senior season in football, a 3-22 season in basketball, and a disappointing semi finals loss in district in tennis. All in all, it was a disappointing year for the Lanester. The song reminded me that in a lot of ways, this year was counting down. There would be no more high school...yeah!! As I grow older, wiser (well in the same way Bill Murray got wiser in Groundhog's Day...but simply living), I realize that what everyone was telling me about high school was correct. Enjoy it, because it never comes again. Every loss in football, basketball, and tennis, was still enjoyable.

4. The Promise-When in Rome. Shows the total amount of frustration from my 'wild care free days of pre 20'. Most of my good friends were girls who I would've liked to date. But, as I was still in a gawky faze that somewhat continues to this very day, I took the just friend route. It was safer. I was very much a riskless teenager.

3. Don't Close Your Eyes-Keith Whitley. See above. I really would love to show how weak in the 'dating' world I was. I guess the best way to put it is in this paraphrased quote, "Son, you tried and you failed. The lesson is never try,' from Homer Simpson. In my mind the verse, instead of going 'Don't Close your eyes, let it be me'...it would 'Please Close your eyes!! Pretend it's anyone else but just for once let it be me getting some physical attention!!' Desperation was a condition...it was a way of life.

2. Every Rose Has it Thorn-Poison. My first relationship ended....my second relationship...ended. Together they lasted a grand total of 7 weeks..okay, I'm rounding up. "Instead of making love, we both made our separate ways." Turned out that I wasn't in love. Turned out I was in lust. Gee, what a surprise. Still didn't make it easier, but at least it was something. I guess at the advanced age of 19 I finally figured out that what I knew about love was...I really didn't know anything about love. Some sensei might say, "Admitting ignorance in your life is the first step to true wisdom, Grasshopper." Of course, after he would say that, my nineteen year old half man self would knee him in the overly sensitie area. Knowledge does not help a lonely guy.

Ironically enough, the singer of the song, Bret Michaels, doesn't know a damn thing either about love. Another bit of irony is that Bill and Ted believed in their most Bogus journey that this was the meaning of life...'That every rose has its thorn, every night has its dawn, and every cowboy sings a sad, sad song.'

1. Candle in the Wind-Elton John. The first time I heard that song was Christmas Eve, 1987 around 10:30 in the morning. It was the first song I heard after my Grandmother called me as a 17 year old to their bed room. It seems my Grandfather who had cancer for several months had passed on in their bed. He had just turned 84. There was a line in that song "I would've liked to know you, but I was just a kid...your candle burned out long before, your legend ever did." I only knew my grandfather as a child. When I finally was a young man, he was gone. It was a regret that I will always have.

First 5 Most Meaningful Songs 1990-2010

5. Feeling Good Again-Robert Earl Keen. When my wife and I first dated we were both surprised that our favorite singer was the same...REK...and our favorite song was the above one. If ya listen to it...you can't help but just smile a bit. "So, I strolled across ol' Main Street walked down a flight of stairs, stepped into a hall and saw all my friends were there. A neon sign was flashin' welcome come on in....It feels so good feeling good again."

4. Gringo Honeymoon-Robert Earl Keen. At Sneaky Momma's (click if you want to see pictues) and my reception with did a dollar dance to this song. Every time I hear the song I wanna go back to Mexico. "We were drinkin' like, the end was not in sight, and we drank all afternoon. We asked the world to wait, so we could celebrate....A Gringo Honeymoon." That song captured our mood that entire five days.

3. The Dance-Garth Brooks. "And now I'm glad I didn't know, The way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, But I'd have had to miss the dance." In February, 2000, my best friend was diagnosed with non smoker related lung cancer. In late June, he died...and the day after he would've turned 30, we buried him. I'm not sure I could ever explain in words what that moment meant when they played this song during his funeral. I guess some things weren't meant to be explained.

2. Goodnight Moon-Jack Ingram. Both of my kids have fallen asleep to this one. "Goodnight Moon..Good night stars...good night ol' broke down cars..." They both have the book and every time I hear it I think of Addsy and Itty Bitty. Addsy can sing it with me by now...Itty Bitty isn't a huge fan of it...but she allows me to sing it to her...poorly I might add...every so often.

1. When You Say Nothing At All-Keith Whitley. It was the song we chose for our wedding. "You say it best, when you say nothing at all." Even after all that teenage angst I was able to find out what a real, adult relationship was like. Sneaky Momma has been my soul mate from damn near the moment I met her. When she looks at me she speaks volumes...when she smiles at me my soul soars.

I hoped you didn't mind this little First 5 walk down memory lane of where I was and where I'm at now. If you want to hear some of the selections, hit the playlist on the left and enjoy.

-----Lane

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

A Prompt from Mama Kat Allows for A Stroll Down Lane's Memory

For the first time, I am participating in the game that Mama's Losin' it has basically sponsored. Check it out folk(s).

The prompt I am choosing deals with a joyous moment that doesn't deal with the birth of a child or my wedding.

I may be cheating on this one, but my joyous moment deals with perhaps the most joyful moment in my life. It was the night Sneaky Momma and I began dating. The backstory was pretty simple. She and I were middle school tennis coaches in the same district.

Well, it so happens we both decided to hit the Texas Tennis Coaches' Convention in New Braunfels, TX in December 2002. Our relationship, at that point it would be a stretch to call it a relationship, was as simple acquaintances..maybe rivals to a certain extent. Well, the Saturday Night festivities occured and as tennis coaches we had a choice. Number one, you could go to the Mixed Doubles tennis tournament or you could begin drinking early to 'prepare' for karoke. My beautiful bride to be chose to play with her high school coach in the tournament. I chose to 'prepare' for the karoke music by downing a couple of beers and watching the tennis from outside my condo room which convienantly enough looked out upon the four clay courts of the facility.

Ironically enough, she was the one playing outside my window. So, I noticed how good she looked in motion and chose to be an interested spectator. Maybe, for the only time in my life, I couldn't tell you if she won or lost. My interest was involved totally in another direction.

I decided to suavely ask her if she wanted to join me for some karoke later. Okay, I asked her if she wanted to listen to others making fools of themselves as we would laugh at them. She accepted. That night we listened to music...some pretty darn good..most exceptionally bad. Then, I decided to use my best line on her. It is the only line I have...so basically, I was going for broke. I asked her, "So, you wanna go outside?" Sure, I didn't realize that the temperature was somewhat lower than freezing at that point. Even if I did, I'm not sure it would've mattered. Like I said, that was all I had.

Fortunately, she said yes. As we walked around the area around NEWKS tennis ranch in New Braunfels, we found one of our cars. I think it was hers...to be honest, my mind was elsewhere. The thing I really remember was that, as always in December, NEWKS was lit up for Christmas. The only sound I heard was the muffled music of the Karoke bar going on. At that point, I leaned in for a kiss....and the relationship was created.

To use a line from a movie that maybe dozens of you have seen, "That kiss belongs in a box, so I can show my grandkids one day. "

If you guess the movie, I'll be shocked.

I hope that you have all enjoyed my walk down memory lane..holdin' hands with my honey and the joyful moment of the first kiss.

Thanks again, Mama Kat, for hosting this activity.


-----Lane

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Forgotten Man

Today...or as of this writing...yesterday, a new president came into office. A miracle of our republic, the peaceful changing of power. Nowadays, it's as common as leap years and good Salma Hayek movies. It is an act that we take for granted.

But, this isn't a post detailing the rise of the United States of America's republic or the influence we have had over the world.

Nope.

Coachdad wrote an excellent blog detailing the desire to be led. In it he basically says our generation has been screwed because we haven't had that one 'Iconic' leader like they had in the 60's. At that point, there was JFK, LBJ, and MLK, jr. Now we have had Reagan, Clinton, and Jesse Jackson (Which no one would know by only initials alone.) The post was so good, it should've been mine. :) In it, he claims, and I concur, that are current president, Mr. Obama, has the qualities that can truly make him this generations figure. Everyone tonight is writing about Barrack, and rightly so.

But, this obviously, is not what this post is about.

Tonight, I write for George W. Bush.


The Forgotten Man.

Tell me, dear reader(s), has there ever been a president more ready to walk out of the Casa de Blanco? Seriously, his wife, Laura, has been packing since sumer! I thought about doing a First 5 on that, but only could think of two possible presidents more ready for retirement, than Dubya. Washington, to finally retire into a public life, and LBJ, because Vietnam was beating him down.

Has any president gone through more? Again, under his watch was as tumultous as their ever has been. The only presidents to go through more were, Lincoln and FDR. In 2001, nine months after he started, the US was hit by a massive attack. The last time an attack this massive was launched in the contiguous United States was in the War of 1812. The last time we were attacked anywhere in America, was 1941.

From that day on, in my opinion, his hand was forced at every turn. His chance at a simple, normal presidency was shot to Hell. To keep America safe, he chose the path offense rather than sit around waiting for the second shoe to drop. Was it the right path? Since no one attacked us again, I choose to believe it was. He made Osama Bin Ladin nothing more than a prized nine point buck. (They never bagged him, but they made him more useless than Paula Abdul on American Idol). They took Hussein out of power in Iraq...permantly. In addition, ended all possibilities of his sons rising to power. Was it the right call? As I told one of my liberal friends, if you had the chance to go back in time and take Hitler out before 1937, would you do it?

They don't have a good answer to that one.

The motives were questionable, but at least one possible maniac with the desire for and means to get nuclear missiles was disposed of. The homeland was kept safe. As a close friend said to me the last time we spoke, "I'd rather fight them over in there, than in America."

I'm not sure I've ever seen an approval rating was so low as President. It is so low that Wade Phillips' approval rating looked good in comparison.

What he did, though, is bring a sense of safety in post 9/11 America quicker than I could've ever dreamed possible. To me, that will do.

Thanks, President Bush, try to get a good nights sleep.

---Lane

Now at a New Time Slot...Random Tuesday!!

Man don't you hate it when your favorite shows change? I mean you spend all your time...work around your schedule to make sure you get to watch the show...and Bam!! Pow!! (and all of other Batman sounds) The powers that be make sure that you get to watch some reality show or something instead of 'your' show. Guess I'll just have to watch Hulu...and spend more time on my computer.

It just stinks when people change their schedules without letting you know the reason for the change....like I'm doing now. :)

Things that I'll never do...and I'm okay with.

Wrestle an alligator
sky dive
base jump
Coach Football
Drive a Yugo
Watch a Woody Allen Movie
Watch the Super Bowl (I hate crowds)
Live in a log cabin (I don't have a Lincoln or Harrison complex)
Eat caviar
climb Mount Everest
Own a ferret

Thing that I'll never do...again

Drink a shot (Or drive afterward)
Go Bar Trolling
Go two days without brushing my teeth
Watch any movie or show where a baby is hurt or dead (Just can't do it anymore)
run a sub six mile....or maybe even run a mile.
Climb a flight of stairs without wishing for an elevator
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What did you do for MLK day? I did nothing...and it was everything i ever hoped it could be. In class I went over the acts of Dr. King and it kind of reminded me how far we have come from where we were when my parents were in school. "Hey, in just fifty years, Dr. King, we'll finally have a black President." Do you think he would've taken that? Do you think that he was more hopeful that it would've been sooner?
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The Arizona Cardinals made the Super Bowl. This is a day I never thought would happen. As I said last week, I think Nostradamus pegged this as a sign of the Apocalypse. Expect the churches, synagogues, and mosques to open all week in preparation for all the lost souls in need of redemption before the end comes.

I am not a fan so to speak....but I once was. When I was around two years old I apparently was a huge Cardinals fan. (well at least as huge as a two year old can be.) They had red unis and I liked red. Of course, this is well before Staubach, Aikman, and Geography forced me change my allegiances to the team with star.
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Random Historical Fact of the Day: In honor of Inauguration Day, a Presidential fact. Four of the first five Presidents lived in Virginia. (Washington, Jefferson, Madison, and Monroe).

Take on the Day!!


----Lane

Monday, January 19, 2009

Not Me Monday


Check out http://www.mycharmingkids.net/ for more Not Me Monday posts.

What a weekend....Well, where can I begin with what I didn't do.

My wife did not work hard on a birthday quilt for my Addsy. Itty Bitty did not put us in stitches with the phrase 'I like it!!' I did not lay around all Saturday doing absolutely squat. I did not feel guilty about it. I did not get over the guilty feeling pretty quick.

Well, I didn't get the tree down and I didn't secretively positive pump that I got the tree down closer to Christmas than Valentines Day. (24 from Christmas, 26 from Valentines.) I did not root for the Cardinals to defeat the Dreaded and Feared Eagles. I did not celebrate the Cardinals advancement to the Super Bowl. There will not be more on this in a future post.

I did not enjoy Max and Ruby, Handy Manny, and the Wonder Pets even though I didn't watch a single minute of it.

I did not like being off today and I did not at all think about why this day is given.

I did not eat green eggs and ham. (okay, that one's true.)

I also did not love my wife's post at Sneaky Momma.

------------Lane

Friday, January 16, 2009

First 5 Friday

My friends and I have spent many hours and more than a few 'adult beverages' considering how you would rank certain things. What is the best in some random category. I have decided that this is a pursuit that needs to be continued. So, this is a new feature for Sneaky Daddy. First 5 Friday. Now, in honor of my first First 5 Friday, I have decided on a list that is more autobiographical than truly an attempt at truth. I hope you enjoy and throw your own First 5 in this category.

Lane's First 5 Best Movies

Hi Fidelity-Kind of a kindrid spirit to my constant search for the top five of...well...anything. Sneaky Momma is happy that I am finally excercizing that need in another way. (Is that why you suggested this, Jill?)..hmmm.

Anyways, back to this admittably weird choice for a First 5 in anything. Why? It is a great tale about a guy that was about my age going through what a lot of us do. You know, kind of like saying what's this all about? He is a record store owner who wants to make his own company fly. His label is called Top 5 Records. (Sounds kind of familiar, doesn't it?) His ex decides to dump him to date a Tim Robbins character. So, he goes through is top 5 best relationships. (Just as a reminder, if you don't like this one, make you're own damn list.)

Batman Dark Knight-This is probably here because of the performance of Heath Ledger. As far as I'm concerned it was one of the greatest performances of this decade. The bad guys in this movie were, to be honest, the two most interesting bad guys in the Batman series. It was pretty much a roller coaster the whole movie. I guess my test for a movie is that I actually have to keep myself from continuing to talk about it over and over for greatness.

Forrest Gump-Hugely positive, partially sad, and definitely a classic movie. When it came out, you knew it was going to be one of those once in a generation type movie. Tom Hanks was insanely good as a partially limited southern boy who continues to find himself in situations of where greatness is called for....and he continually comes through. He is a man that doesn't know the meaning of the word quit or failure...or a lot of other simplistic words that your average five year old would know. Sometimes, as he shows, being ignorant in your limits is an advantage. In not knowing your ceiling you can sometimes push through.

Unforgiven-"It's a hell of a thing to kill a man...take away all he's got...and all he ever will have." I like westerns and this is the best of the bunch. There really isn't anybody who is real good or real bad. Just a whole lot of shades of gray. Clint Eastwood plays a former bad man (when drunk) who married someone who changed him into a quiet unassuming farmer. His wife dies and an opportunity for easy money brings him out of this life. He decides to take a job in which he has to kill two outlaws...sober. It is sobering...and sometimes painful to watch. But, in my humble opinion, it's a western masterpiece.

Saving Private Ryan-The greatest war movie of all time. A movie that literally changed how movies were made. It was an amazingly real and poignant movie. Still have no idea how it DID NOT win an Oscar for best picture. Seriously, American Beauty? Those morons lost what little respect I had following that decision. Anyways, back to the movie. I have used this movie in many ways as far getting the point across for Veteran's Day. Again, Tom Hanks plays the lead part, this time Captain Miller. A great cast that tells the tale of a unit in charge of getting one soldier out of the throes of post D-Day France. Finally, after the fourth time I saw this movie I made it through without a tear. Truly Powerful.

Hope y'all enjoyed the list.

-----Lane

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Random Thoughts Thursday

As I finally got over my yearly depression over why college football doesn't end their season like everyone else, I finally moved on to other things. When I awoke from my fog I noticed that the world had changed.


This weeks sign of the Apocalypse: The Arizona Cardinals playing a home game for the NFC Championship. The question is, if they win, will this cause many to go to church more often and repent their sins? "The end is upon us....the Cards are playin' for the Lombardi!!" Or will we have to wait for something earth shattering...like the Clippers winning the NBA Championship or the Texas Rangers making a good trade? I think there is a Quatrain over this event in Nostradamus' last writings. It goes as such.

"The bird of prey will circle the bird of blood and so one will fly...nevermore"

Heck, maybe that's from Poe...I get 'em mixed up.

Related note: Three of the last four teams left are bird oriented. Just figured that out when I wrote that last quote.

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This weeks sign that I'm an old fart in progress: I was thinking about the differences in style of teaching in the 80's as compared to now.

Then-Coach So and So, "Well, Parker, looks like ya got a zero in science. You know the drill, Son. Touch your toes and give me a good target."

Whack!!!

Now-Teacher, "Well, Sam, I do not have a grade for you on this assignment." Sam, "So?" Teacher, "Well, to pass you'll have to turn it in." Sam, "If I don't pass, my Momma will tear into you!"

When did we decide that promoting self esteem was more important as promoting self responsibility? When did we decide that when a kid failed, the educator was totally responsible? Sigh, can we tear up the whole damn thing and start over again?

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Finally, Adsy quote of the week. She has taken to calling things 'Gunderson' if she doesn't have another word for what they are. So, just messing with her, I asked if her Kitty Kat (KK) was named Gunderson. She told me, "That's my word, Daddy."

Life sure is more interesting than fiction.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Wordful Wednesday



Kid likes her water, right?

This picture was taken last summer when our Itty Bitty was about a year old. My inlaws had gotten a 'Frog Pool' and had filled it up for the grandkids. As you can tell, our Itty Bitty thought that this was a smashing idea. This picture, probably more than most taken the first 1.5 year(s) of my youngest's life truly shows the personality of Itty Bitty. . One moment she's thrilled to be alive...the next, everything and anything 'just won't do at all!!' (She puts all sorts of screams, shrieks, and whines with that attitude.) Sometimes she pouts with world class effectiveness that the middle schoolers I teach would envy. But, fortunately, she is mostly happy. One of my favorite moments of the day is when my key hits the lock to come home and I hear a muffled, "Dada, Dada...Momma., Dada!!" Which, if you comprehend 1.5 speak that is simply, "Yo, Daddy's home...Mom...Daddy is here!!"

It's good to be the Dad.

By the way, if you'd like, check out a Wordful Wednesday on Addsy located on Sneaky Momma.
-----Lane

Visit http://angiescircus.blogspot.com/ for more Wordful Wednesday posts.


Monday, January 12, 2009

Not Me Monday


I did not sleep late on Saturday (thanks to my beautiful Bride).

I did not play video game until midnight (thanks to my lack of discipline).

I did not do as little as possible this weekend and I did not watch any TV. I did not enjoy a few moments in bed with all three of my girls this morning. We did not watch Oswald...and I did not almost fall asleep to it.

I did not take Itty Bitty to Home Depot...twice :) She did not do a good job and she did not help me carry the merchandise to the counter.

I did not laugh at anything Adsy said this week "You can't say that word, Daddy, tha't s mine!!". She did not offer to help me in every task and all of her 'help' was not to just give me a hug. (Sometimes that's the best help)

I did not choose 'Monk' or 'House' reruns over the NFL this weekend, but, on a related note, I did not root for the Cardinals to win. I did not wonder why the Cardinals are there and not the Cowboys for one moment. I did not wonder if Texas or Utah would've beaten Florida.

I did not hug my kids all weekend and I did not enjoy my quiet weekend with Jill at all. I did not type this post at all after midnight on Sunday Night to try to prolong the weekend.

Check out www.mycharmingkids.net for more Not Me's.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Random Thoughts Thursday

A new segment on SD...things that make me go...hmmm.

Why does my smoke detector battery always go dead at eleven o'clock at night? Three in a row have gone dead the hour before the witching hour. It can't be coincidence. Why can't it go out at a more convenient time...like 4 pM where sneaky momma can deal with it? (just kidding, hon)

When did I get old? I heard myself using the phrase, "These damn kids nowadays always play their music so loud. I mean, seriously I can't understand a word their...." At this point I suffered an Irony Attack. I so remember when I drove all over town with the windows down so all could listen to the tape that I had in at the time. I felt it was my public duty to 'reward' all of those near me by a carefully selected tune, such as King or Rock by Run DMC, Paul Revere by the Beastie Boys, or some Fat Boys 'remake'.

On a related note, do you guys remember what you watched on TV as a teenager? I think my favorite shows were ALF, Magnum PI, MASH, and Simon and Simon. My usual daily reruns segment included the Jeffersons, Gilligan's Island, Happy Days, and Laverne and Shirley. I also at one point was a HUGE fan of the Dukes of Hazzard. Now, whenever I try watch it, I find it totally unwatchable.

Why don't we have a college football playoff? On the day of the BCS National Championship Game, I am again struck how blatantly unfair it is. Why even call it a national championship. Just call it the last bowl game. I refuse to acknowledge either party as national champions. In fact, I'm awarding the SD national championship to..wait for it....UTAH!!

Why? Well, they are undefeated, but they're not Hawaii undefeated. Their schedule has teeth.

Forget Michigan, who happened to be well pond scum this year. They beat four bowl teams. They dismantled Alabama in basically a home game. They defeated Oregon State, who deeated USC the week before. You also have several degrees of separation too between all of the contenders. The Utes beat Alabama, who defeated ol Miss. Ol' Miss you may remember defeated Florida. They also beat Texas Tech, who defeated Texas, who defeated Oklahoma. Is all of this sketchy....Hell, yes!! But, their claim is as good if not better than anyone elses.

Why can they put a man on the moon but can they not develop:

Ultra slow growing grass that looks good.
Milk that doesn't expire before the expiration date.
A carton for eggs that will actually protect them.
The LONGEST lasting battery.
A decent camera that doesn't wait four seconds to take the picture after you pressed the button.
A college playoff. (sorry, I am obsessed.)


Well, that about does it for what's on Lane's mind. Hope all have a pleasant Thursday.

-----Lane

Just A Quick Word of Thanks for My Site Makeover

My darling wife decided to make over my blog. She never ceases to amaze me with her talents. Some of you have noticed her cool little tips, well she's getting to be quite the webmaster. Thanks a bunch, Honey, I love what 'cha do!!!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Back to School and a Cool Surprise

January 6th...what is commonly referred to by teachers and students as Dread Day (or at least by me). It is the day we go back and continue the battle against against the plague of ignorance against our future generations. This, of course, is commonly referred to as teaching. On this day, the students come to school woefully unprepared. On this day, I came to school woefully unprepared. Let us review the beginning of this day.

6:00AM-Alarm wakes me up. I know I need to go to school early to print out the work for today in my class. Since it has been two weeks, I haven't the slightest idea what this work is, but I do remember that I made it so I wouldn't worry about starting the year unprepared.

7:15AM-Snooze alarm wakes me up. Panic sets in, since I am now not early but SERIOUSLY late.

8:00AM-I make it to school as the first bell goes off. Go to my room and notice that my district's computer system is on the fritz.

8:01AM-Whine.

8:05AM-Create curriculum.

Aside from that shakey start, the day actually went well. I only had five requests for lockers, four lost books, two forgot schedule, and one who didn't bring at thing. To think, I could've stayed at home if I hadn't barely missed winning the lottery two weeks ago. I only missed by five numbers.

I also noticed that I was featured in a post in Chris Bowers excellent blog, Worth a Thousand Words. His blog is pretty darn cool with picture contests every week. Thanks, Chris, for the honor I really appreciate it.

Here's wishing all of you happy end to the first week of 2009. (That is the end of the first seven days of 2009, Jill.)

----Lane

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Not Me Monday

I did not graze all New Years Day.

I did not enjoy a quiet game of sequence with my wife on New Year's Eve.

I did not watch an obscene amount of Monk episodes on New Years Day.

I did not spend the entire day in my 'bed clothes'

I did not happily enjoy my entire break.

I did not wish for Handy Manny, the extended version at any point during my 'alone with kids' part of this week. In addition, I did not choose all week to step over toys rather than pick them up.

I did not silently wonder if it would be closer to New Year's Day or Valentine's Day when I finally put up the Christmas Stuff.

I did not at any time wish that candy was made up of less sticky things...or ponder how it got in my kids hair.

I did not enjoy every single one of my Christmas presents.

I didn't stay up late at all this week and I did not get to sleep in at all. I do not at all dread the first day of school next week.

I absolutely did not enjoy watching Benjamin Buttons with my beautiful bride on a stolen getaway. I did not gorge myself at the restaurant.

I did not enjoy writing this one bit.

Visit www.mycharmingkids.net for more Not Me posts.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

A Very Sneaky Year Begins

A beautiful day in Texas...or so I heard.

I spent most of it happily cooped up, eating queso, chips, and sandwiches watching bowl games. (Okay, so I watched the Monk marathon more than the games, sue me) A couple of things came to mind during this day.

Number one, can't put down the queso like I used to.

Number two, it takes a lot less to make me tired of watching football...especially with Clemson vs Nebraska and Virginia Tech vs Cincinatti. Sheesh. Seriously, if that game is what we get with the BCS, then we should get rid of the whole thing just because of that. (The rest of why the BCS is Satan's Spawn to college football would take an entire hate filled blog to go through, so I'll spare you.)

Number three, I am more thankful than ever of easy assembly toys. I have enjoyed snapping and even the occassional screwing in our daughter's toys. I will say, not ONE toy took more than forty five minutes to assemble. Which is amazing considering my lack of skills in the area of toy building. (Santa has nothing to fear, I won't be taking his job any time soon.)

Also, I thought maybe since this is the time of year for resolutions, that maybe I should find a way to improve myself. (like take a toy building class). So, this is my resolutions for 2009 in no particular order.

1. Figure out my yard. It doesn't take a rocket scientist, but I'm lazy. I like to mow once a month...I know that basically the only time that works is..um now. On a similar note, the cat has voted for me to leave the yard as is. He likes to pretend he's a cheetah and the over growth gives him that jungle like atmosphere that he craves.



2. Figure out the garage. I have things in there that should not be in any home in America. I kind of think, that if I get to the middle I might see a minotaur. I am going to have to spend three days...six dump loads...and a few tetanus shots to get it cleared away. Did I do it during this break? HELL NO!!. But, it will happen by this time next year....I promise!! :)

3. On a related note, I need to figure out the attic. There is stuff up there that I have forgotten I put up there. This by the way might help the garage situation.

4. Next, I am going to quit smoking. I think that since I haven't had a cigarette since the first Bush was in the office I'm probably safe on that one. (Ya gotta have one that is an automatic success or you will think that you didn't succeed at your resolutions.)

5. Lastly, I'm going to cut down on the red meat. I think maybe if I get healthier I will have the energy to do the first three things on the list.


---Happy New Years, All!!---------