Writer's Workshop-A Cat Caused Paranoia

I am honored to be a muse for the great Mama Katt's blog. In my few forays into the blogging world I have to say it's probably my biggest honor. Thanks, MK. For those that don't play the game, the rules are simple...she gives you five prompts. You pick one or five or one in between and right to your little heart's content.

1.) My animals are making me nuts.
(inspired by Jody from Take Me As I Am).

SEE BELOW

2.) List the 5 best things about the first day of school.
(inspired by Lane from Sneaky Daddy).


Um...just scroll below one story.

3.) Tell us about your crush.
(inspired by Lisa from Just Lisa, No Filler)

Such a fall season it was. I was a young lad whose teenage years had just begun and I had noticed a young girl. A very attractive young lady. As I watched, my head got weak and my stomach got weak. I longed to talk to her. I longed to go with her (you eighties ladies and gents know that term). Unfortunately, it was not to be.
Stephanie Powers was just a bit out of my league.

4.) How did you break it?
(inspired by Brandy from Not Your Average Soccer Mom)


It could've been many ways that I broke it,

I could've been mad and threw a fit.

I could've drank way to much bud lite,

or tied a string around it to fly it like a kite.

I could've acted silly or been really dumb,

I could've given it to a salesman or a bum.

But, I'm sure whatever I did to cause the crime,

The fault no doubt is totally mine.

5.) Show us a favorite summer craft.
(inspired by Kristin from The Way It Is)

I don't do crafts. I have no skills in this regard.

Now, the featured story. My Animal is driving me crazy.

This is P-Nut.

P-Nut the cat.

Cute isn't he? This bundle of cuteness, I believe, strives to piss me off as much as possible.

I'm getting ahead of myself. A little backstory to tell you how we were blessed with this eccentric feline. My wife's sister, Sneaky Sister-in-Law, owned P-Nut since he was a kitten. For years he lived in semi paradise in an apartment with SSIL and another cat...Butthead. To the rest of the Sneaky Household, he was an antisocial rodent that meowed. He hid when people came over and had loose bowel syndrome seemingly on command.

Disaster happened in P-Nut's life. SSIL found true love and was married. But, P-Nut's world was rocked as change continued to visit. The death of the ancient Butthead and the fact that the new little darling in their house, Sneaky Nephew, was allergic to cats. What to do..what to do?

In our household and really all over Texas, the rodent population doubled like something Moses would've done to Pharoah. Our field next door was teaming with mice. We found several in our garage and knew that we had to do something before they reached inside. In short, we needed a cat.

It was a match made in heaven for everyone...except for P-Nut. Now, he had to deal with change. Oh, and two mobile girls who love to pull his tail. But, both parties were satisfied with the arrangement. The weird thing is, soon P-Nut was happy.

He has been probably the best pet my girls could've had. No matter what they do to him he never fights back. He'll run and hide or go into the garage, but he never scratches. Plus, in a few hours time he is back in ready for more. (Case in point, he and eldest are cuddling on the girl's Dora couch watching Yo Gabba Gabba)

Unfortunately, his interaction with me is less than cute. I have stepped on two of his land mines that he has left on my path to the bathroom. (Once around 6AM) I think I saw him wink as he evaded my attempts at justice.

My foot also seems to be a fun, challenging target. Especially when my feet are under the covers of our bed. Especially in the dark. Nothing feels quite the same as waking up from your drowsyness with a fork stabbing your big toe. The last time it happened he caught me before I was asleep. He was catapulted pretty far as I used his furry butt as a soccer ball. GOAL!!!!

He likes to use our couch as a scratch pad...EXACTLY at 12:37AM almost every night. I even bought a scratch pad for him to use. He loves it...except at 12:37AM.

His final strategy for complete destruction of my sanity is to meow very loudly at 6:00Am on random days..usually Saturday. He will continue this until I get up. Then we play chase. I rarely win chase.

Again, he's lucky he's cute.



Thanks, Mama Katt for the prompts. Tune in tomorrow as First 5 Friday takes a kids say the weirdest things approach. It's well worth the read.