The Return of Writer's Workshop

The spiel is this...this carnival gives you several prompts to write on. You write and enjoy the memories, the moments, and the message that hopefully you have transported to others on this electronic medium. In layman's terms...dude, just write.










Thanks to Mama Katt for these prompts. My comments are in bold. I hope you enjoy!!





1.) Your trip to the ER...spill it.(inspired by Stephanie from This Blessed Life).`

Which time? I think in my home town they just renamed it the 'Lane Ward'. I was hurt in so many different and creative ways that I single handedly prepared our doctors of the time for any and everything. From having a frog induced injury to drinking plant food to eating a rare forty year old Brazillian nut to...sheesh...you can almost name it.


2.) "Why are American's obsessed with weight? Why are we always fighting or complaining about what is natural for our bodies?"(inspired by Jenn from Jenny Says What?)

I blame the Commies and rock n roll music.

3.) Describe one of your 'God Moments'.(inspired by Jordan from Wide Open Spaces)

This is one that I will describe later when I can write more to it and give it the attention I need to, but it is one that I have a great deal of feelings toward. January 1, 2000. My friend, Roby and I visited another friend, Grady, in San Antonio. As we hung out in a hotel downtown, the fireworks flashed and I noticed everyone watching them. I felt his presence in the presence of my friends and the beauty of the scene before me. I knew that for some reason this was a beginning and an end. That things wouldn't be the same again.

I was right.

Before the summer was done, one would be married and one would be gone. But, it was like God was telling me remember this moment and cherish it.

I do and I have.


4.) List ten things you would say to ten different people in your life...if you had the hutzpah.(inspired by Cassandra from Cassagram)

Sneaky Momma-Can we turn our garage into a casino?

Principal-Lesson Plans? What the hell are those?

Sonic-Did I order a hot apple pie? Did I? Tell ya what, when I want it I'll friggin' tell ya.

President Obama-So, you want to make sure that we unite the country, then the first thing you do is make abortion easier world wide....real smart.

Tom Brady-Did you sell your soul to the devil?

Tony Romo-If you did sell your soul, you should've checked with Tom first.

Phil Hellmuth-I can't believe that you don't get your ass kicked more.

Wade Phillips-Hey, if the Cowboy gig doesn't work out there is always voice overs as Hank Hill in a King of the Hill movie

Paulie Shore-How the hell did you star in a movie and I didn't?

Ed-The pills you're lookin' for are blue.

5.) Why is your kid in time out?(inspired by Sera from Laughing Through The Chaos)

Talking back...AGAIN.

My Friend the Warrior

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom.

They died July 27, 2007, near Kamu, Afghanistan, of injuries sustained when their unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire during combat operations.They were assigned to 1st Squadron, 91st Cavalry Regiment, 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, Vicenza, Italy.

Killed were: Major Thomas G. Bostick Jr., 37, of Texas Staff Sergeant William R. Fritsche, 23, of Indiana.

This was the news I received two years ago. For many, a report like this makes you think, maybe whisper a prayer of thanks for the guys that serve our country. Maybe you might feel sad that they died so far from home. Who knows, maybe you might just shrug and go on with your day and forget their name in the next ten seconds. I know on occassion I have been guilty of each of these reactions. However, this time it was different.

Tommy was a friend of mine.

He came to my high school late in the junior high years and as high school came into being we became friends. We had similar interests...which is to say we loved sports. We played dunkball on the elementary goals, which were eight feet tall. His main passion was basketball. He came from New Mexico..cocky...but very personable. He reminded me of the Fonz when the Fonz was a freshman. He tried football his senior year...and started at wide receiver. After four years, we hit the usual crossroads all eighteen year olds hit. I chose education because I really didn't know what to do.

He chose the military.

As I sifted through life as a college student, he was going through basic training. As, I bitched about algebra and skipped classes because of late parties, he was parachuting into hostile areas of Greneda and Panama. As, I wondered, as Desert Storm became a reality, if I would be drafted, Tommy was involved spearheading many attacks in Iraq.

Tommy was an army ranger. He was an elite member of our armed forces. I was a man just trying to be in the work force. While I sweated out interview after interview, he was steadily moving up the ranks in the military and was a captain before the age of 35.

Now, I would be lying if I said I saw him that much over the nineteen years from graduation to that fateful night in July two years ago. But, in actuality, he was probably the closest friend from high school I had left. We would talk whenever he was in the hill country and sometimes even get together for a little conversation. The army had changed him from the kid he was, to the man he became. The ego was gone and replaced with a quiet cofidence that radiated from him. He was a husband...a dad...a brother....a soldier.

In the weeks following his death, I began to hear about the warrior, Thomas G. Bostick. How he would make jokes in the face of fire to keep his men calm. How the Iraqi people respected him because of his honesty and 'telling them the way it is' type of diplomacy. How one of his best friends in the service was a general in charge of European bases. How, during the last night of his life, he and Staff Sargeant Fritsche stayed behind in Kamu, Afghanistan facing overwhelming odds to protect the entire unit.

Possibly knowing full well they were going to forfeit their lives for the good of their men, Tommy and SSG Fritsche were the only two American casualties of the fight.

In the two years following his death, I find myself thinking more of Tommy than maybe I did when he was alive. I think of him the usual holidays...but I also think of him during Christmas...graduation...when I watch a middle school basketball game. In some of the kids I teach I see him more often.

I wish I could thank him again for fighting over there to keep the bad guys away from here.

Maybe some day I will.

First 5 Friday-Signs of Summer Insanity

As I sit here struggling under the effects of my summer insanity, which is why I haven't posted often, I feel it is my duty to warn others of these effects. If you're a teacher, a kid, or on a long vacation, watch for these things. This is sort of a Public Service Announcement.

First 5 Signs the Summer is Getting to You.

5. Watching Religiously One Cartoon. Three years ago it was Spongebob...two years ago it was Jimmy Neutron...this year it is Phineas and Ferb. I set my timer for it....sad...very sad.

4. Cleaniliness is Next to Impossible. Mowing lawn? Sure once a month, whether it needs it or not. Shave? Sure, whenever I have to go out of the house, which is rarely. Some hate cabin fever, I revel in it.

3. Summer Goals Falling By the Wayside. Flowerbed got done...garage, still a hell hole...yard looks less like a Amazonian Jungle and more like an arid desert range.

2. Talking Back to the TV. No, Flex the Robot, I dont' want to clean my room...I don't give a crap how fun it is!! Come on, Moose E. Moose...itsn't it obvious the Elephant on the right has a hat. How stupid do you think I am, Zee, you mute parakeet? Pretty darn apparantly!!

1. Breaking Out Into Spontaneaous Song. "I just got paid...it's Friday Night!!" Happened less than a minute ago...sorry, Hon. 'There's a Hundred and four days of Summer Vacation.." I wish, but I really like that theme song. I'm also singing a lot of old Garth Brooks songs too...very badly. For some reason summer has become a bit of a musical for me. To my dear Sneaky Momma's greatest chagrin.

Don't worry, Folks, my days of carefree laziness are almost done and my Summer Insanity will fade into Scholarly Dementia in a few more weeks.

Writer's Workshop-Who I Want to Be and a Possible Noggin World Takeover

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. In my case it has given me a little bit of energy or maybe it's insanity during these wonderful "Hot J months." My wife's brain, I always say is like a supercomputer. Always on and always functioning at a high level. My brain power is run by a hamster on treadmill.

I call him Roy.

Anyway, Roy has been on vacation for awhile so the blogging has been hit or miss. Okay, it's been miss. But, with Mama Katt's wonderous carnival, maybe Roy can take off is sunglasses and get his ass on the treadmill and I can pound out something profound, phisophical, or at least pretty good. Here are the prompts.






1.) Tell us about a "dirt cheap" you've taken this summer.
(inspired by Anti-Supermom)

Three words...Mom and Dad's. Free board, free meals, and free child care.

2.) When I grow up I want to be like...
(inspired by Jenny Says What?)

When I was young, a child, I wanted to be like my Dad. I think mainly because he was the only male adult in my life.

When I was in elementary, I wanted to be like Roger Staubach. He was the greatest. He could bring any team back from any deficit. He was cool, he was collected, he was Captain America.

When I was in high school, I wanted to be Christian Slater. He was edgy and cool. He was my age, but making millions. He was a young Jack Nicholson and he was my idol.

When I was in college, I was disillusioned with the older crowd. The war in Iraq part one was in full swing and it looked like another Vietnam might be in the offing. All I wanted was to not to be forced there. I looked up to no one as I already knew it all...or at least all that I deemed that was important.

When I was a young man, the world changed. At 31, America was rocked by a major terrorist attack. I found that I could not deal with the way the celebrities, the politicos, or most of my crowd was dealing with it. Again, I had no one that I looked up too. I was intelligent enough to know I knew squat about what was important. I was going through the emotions...living life because I had nothing better to do.

Now, at the advanced age of too damn close to forty, I realized something. I was right the first time. My Dad is who I want to be when I grow up. He was and is a steady beacon. When things have been shakey, he's been solid. When my siser lost her husband, he became Dad. In his mid sixties he was raising kids again. He lived through WW II and the Cuban Missle crisis. He was there when Whitman was trying to kill folks in Austin in the sixties. He hid in a bush and tried to stay out of the way.

Maybe it has been his experiences that have made him this way. He's a hard worker, a solid friend, and the best dad that I can imagine. If I fill his shoes even half way I would consider my life well lived.


3.) Describe a difficult moment that you survived.
(inspired by Sarah M.)

A story for another time, folks. Any story I can come up with prevokes feelings that I think I'd rather save for a night that I'm not in a good mood. So, forgive me if I let this one go.

4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping...or 5 places you'd like to go.
(inspired by Kisatrtle)

Okay, first fives I gotta participate in. So, without adieu...or with adieu.

Camping things

5. Bundle up. Nights are cold in Texas believe it or not, they're in the 70's which makes it a thirty degree difference.

4. Fish. Preferrably without hooking myself or a friend..which has happened.

3. Drink beer...a lot of beer. Hey, fire, outdoors...that's drinkin' weather my friends.

2. Play cards. Hey, I like any spot to do that, why not on a trip.

1. Revel in nature...with the aforementioned beer of course.

5.) What are you paranoid about?
(inspired by Melissa)

That the producers of kid's shows are part of a conspiracy to enslave the younger generation's mind and take over the world. Mainly, these shows that I feel are mainly invovled are Wiggles and Yo Gabba Gabba.

The Wiggles infiltrate the older generation with a tune of such campy characteristics that we have it in head for days. Because this is filling a part of the finite space in our heads we lose focus. Has the economy slowly deterioriated since the Wiggles have been existence? Yes. Coincidence? I think not.

Yo Gabba Gabba is just creepy. It too has inherent messages too. Sure, you have the robot telling the kids how to brush their teeth, eat snacks, and the fun of picking up. But, it is only a matter of time before it tells kids 'Go to Dad...kick his special region...laugh and point.' Plus if you play it backwards...well, I haven't been able to figure that technology out, admittably, but I bet there's something about marijuana on it.

The addictive mind numbing quality of the shows make them dangerous as possible mind altering audio devices. I believe this takeover will take place around 2020.

Beware.

Return of First 5 Friday

Today is a big day.

It is my fifth wedding anniversary. So, as a triumphant return of First 5 Friday...or at least a return of some sort.... with a trip in the way back machine.

FIRST 5 Greatest Moments of June 26, 2004

5. Golf-Part of my day of fun was nine holes at the local course with my Dad, my bestfriend, and another pretty darn good friend. After something like two hours of sleep, we teed off at nine thirtyish.

The rains came at 9:45.

Did we stop....NO!! We slogged on until we reached number seven where we saw this phantom appear out of the midst. My brother had walked out on the course looking like an extra in a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western circa 1975. Brown cowboy hat, boots, blue jeans and a western shirt....all almost totally obscured (except the hat) by a black duster to protect him from the rain. As my dad begged out to go do his father of the groom duties, my bro played out the rest of the round for him...dressed like that. I still giggle even now.


4. The moment before the ceremony-My buddy, Grady, and I were sitting around shooting the breeze as the time seemed to slip away. At some point, he asked me what I had asked him four years before. "Are ya nervous?" Nope. I was stunned to see that this was pretty much the truth. I had a definite peace about this. I knew this marriage was meant to be. There's a pretty cool pic, (I can't find it or I'd post it) of me leaning against the table and Grady looking at his watch as if he was saying, "It's time!"

3. The Challenge of the Ring. We got the thing around two months before we got married. (Give or take a few weeks) She had it inscribed "Love you forever, and the date was inscribed." Sometime in between that moment and show time I had jammed my finger and neglected to try on the ring. So, as she lovingly place the ring on my finger, she had to put a little elbow grease into it to get it on my finger. Later the next day we got it resized. But, it was a moment Bob Saget would've loved to see.


2. The Reception. From the cake to the music to the friends and family to the BBQ to the...heck, EVERYTHING it was perfect. Absolutely stunning. Our families had worked hard to get a rustic setting turned into something out of a story book. I would not've changed one thing about it. Oh yeah, we also rode a limo to the reception and to a five star hotel that night. That block of time is something I will never forget.

1. Jill walking down the aisle. If you can picture this, it was late in the day in an old country church. The place was filled to capacity. Her sister, best friend, cousin, and my sister were standing up with her as bridesmaids. On my side, My brother, my best friend, and another close friend was standing up with me. The doors were shut. When they opened I had the greatest view of my wife to be, in white with the afternoon sun as her backdrop as she walked with her dad down the aisle. It was an image that I carry with me all the time, still.

I hoped you enjoyed this walk down the aisle of my memory and to my beloved wife...

Happy Anniversary!!!

First 5 Friday-Put Me in Coach

There are two things the summer is known for other than beaches and heat. It is the time where the movies start bringing in their blockbuster hits and it is a time that baseball starts heating up. Maybe it's because my beloved Rangers are in first place in their division for the first time in over a decade, but the Sneaky household is all about baseball right now.

So, I decided to talk about probably the best sports genre movies...baseball.

The great thing about this genre is that there are literally five or six movies that didn't make the list that are pretty dang good. So, without further adieu...

First 5 Baseball Movies

Okay, this is one category where I have to mention an honorable mention.

Honorable Mention: I remember watching Major League in the theatres when it came out. The scene at the end of the movie where Ricky Vaughn comes out to Wild Thing was truly electric in that theatre. It was like all of us were at the game and at least half the audience was singing 'Wild Thing' with the movie. One of my greatest movie experiences of all time.

But, while this movie was pure genius and would be good enough to make any list, the ones ranked above it are spectacular.

5. Field of Dreams. 'If you build it, he will come.' The foundation of perhaps one of the greatest sports fantasies of any movie. A ghostly voice finally convinces Ray to build a park for the great Shoeless Joe Jackson. In a way, it is a pennance for the distance he had with his own father who passed away before things could be fixed. Their is pain and absolution along with the baseball theme. Probably would be ranked higher if there was actually more baseball in the movie.





4. For the Love of the Game. As far as fiction stories go, an aging pitcher about five years past his prime, pitching in his last game at the formidible Yankee stadium. He is not only in the moment while on the mound pitching his finest game, he also has his entire life flash before his eyes as the game is going. Just an amazing movie.





3. Bull Durham. To finish out the Kevin Costner triology of baseball flicks is this gem about a minor league legend Crash Davis who has finally bounced his way to the Durham Bulls to help Ebby Calvin 'Nuke' Laloosh. The ever annoying but in this movie, tolerable, Susan Sarandon narrates the action of this movie. It is humorous and the action is pretty realistic. Plus, the lines of this movie are so repeatable. For instance, Annie Savoy the Susan Sarandon character has this gem, "The world is made for those who aren't cursed with self awareness."





2. The Natural. Gosh the music at the end is awesome. It's the music the Rangers play when one of their guys go yard. But, this movie is way more than the music, it is the ideal. A guy with amazing talent as a kid is grieviously injured and is out of the sport for years. He then turns up as a thirty something year old rookie. During this time, he and his bat, 'Wonderboy' terrorizes the pitching. There is definitely a surreal feel to this movie as it does border on fantasy. A great story.





1. 61*. You know a movie would have to be good if it was about the Yankees and it's number one on my list. This movie is the haunting story of the 1961 season. This was the hunt to break Babe Ruth's record by a fairly unassuming player by the name of Roger Maris.

It focuses mostly on what Roger had to go through from the press and the fans during this ordeal of a season. If you like baseball at all, you simply have to watch this movie. The scenes are amazing. Barry Pepper is identical to Roger Maris and Thomas Jane looks a whole lot like Micky Mantle. The visuals, the music, the acting, heck, the whole picture is a work of art. It was a labor of love by Billy Crystal and it works.

Writer's Workshop-My Obituary...Among Other Things

It's Thursday!! You know what time it is!! Mama Katt's carnival, 'Writer's Workshop'. It's a time to get the old juices flowing and get creative.


The Prompts are in bold and my stuff is in normal:


1.) If you could cut back on something in your life that takes up your time what would it be? And what would you prefer to spend that time doing?(inspired by Lady Isra)

This is a subject that I really don't have much of an answer too. The things that take up the most time in my life in order are job, kids, and stuff on the computer (be it blogging, facebook, or poker.) I guess if I had to pick one thing I would cut back on that takes time out of my life it would be yardwork. I average about an hour every other week of yard work. (Yep, our yard looks gooooooood.) I would like to make that about an hour each year. I mean it is so pointless, I mow the lawn and then it grows. It's like a never ending cycle. I mean it's like making your bed, except everyone sees when you don't mow your lawn. So, I would cut back on that and divide that hour every fourteen days into the kids and internet 'work'

2.) Share a recent adventure you had with a friend.(inspired by Amy)

Well, it was a wondrous afternoon....one that was written about by my dear wife, Sneaky Momma. But, the date was May 16th of this year. Our destination was the Ballpark in Arlington for a much needed mini vacation. We dropped the kids off at my mother and father in law's house and then headed up for the game.

As we drove to the game, we listened to it on the radio. It was there where we heard the familiar tone of Eric Nadel, the Ranger's main play by play man as John Lackey was thrown out of the game for throwing at Ian Kinsler. My dear wife, a hockey fanatic, really dug that part of the game. So, we arrived at the game somewhere around the end of the first inning. From our parking lot you could see the Red River a whole lot easier than the Ballpark. But, we hiked instead of taking the easy way out on a bus and finally made it to our seats around the bottom of the third inning.

We sat up in the cheap seats and watched a very well played game in, to me, the most beautiful park in the the majors. Well, about the fifth inning we decided that it was going to get no warmer. It was about fifty windchill and we were wearing shorts and shortsleeve shirts. Funny, we both spend most of our waking moments on line and we didn't even bother to check out the weather. So, finally giving up, we decided to go get the least expensive long sleeve shirts they sell in the place. I found one that had Ian Kinsler's number 5 on the back and held it up. 'Who's Kinsler?" My dear wife asked. Did I mention she's more of a hockey fan? So, as I explained that he is the second baseman and a pretty damn good player, she was cool with the shirt. We finished the game and as everyone was jumping to 'If the House is a Rockin' my wife pointed at the poor Ranger with the pink back pack. It's his job to get snacks to the other pitchers since he is the one with the least seniority.

After the Rangers held off the Angels, we were set to go to the second part of the date. A concert by the great Robert Earl Keen. Some of his fine work is on my playlist if you've never heard of REK. He played all of the stuff we love and even some new stuff that didn't suck. We ate after the game at one of 'our' joints, Papacitos. Stuffed, slightly drunk (at least in my case), we headed home to a childless house and had the ability to jack up the volume of the TV and live like we were first married one more time. Well, with the exception of we were both dead tired by Midnight.

3.) Describe a memorable gift. Why was it important to you?(Inspired by Kit Kat)

My dear lovely wife, Sneaky Momma gave me a thousand chip poker set as a wedding gift. It was very cool, but the part of it that was the coolest was that she was accepting me as is. She knows that I have to play in life or I'm no good. Whether it be cards, bang a tennis ball around, shoot hoops, or something. In short, she married a guy that still has the heart of a kid in a lot of ways. That gift showed that she understood this. Now understandably this is something I don't use a great deal. When I play poker 'live', it's either at a casino or somebody else supplies the chips, but it is without a doubt one of my most prized possessions.

4.) If you could change career paths now and be anything you wanted to be...what would you be and why?(inspired by Lauren)

I would like to be a greeter at Wal-Mart, but they said I'm too young. Imagine being able to change the mood people are in with a bright shiny smile and a 'How are ya today?'. Yeah, that sounds like me. None of you are buying this are you?

In reality there really isn't a job that would fit me better than the one I have now. It has taken me literally a decade to satisfy myself with this fact. I am a teacher and a tennis coach at the middle school level. The tennis gives me a slight way to give my competitive side something to do and I am naturally lazy. So, the two months a year that are non structured truly is something taylor made for me.

5.) Kim's email: In the St. Louis News-Dispatch paper, they had an article of a man who wrote his own obituary before his death, and gave it to his sister to post when he died. He summed life up in 45 words:(Click here to read his words).I know it's a morbid subject, but what about a prompt about what would one's obit say, with a word limit. You could stipulate that everyone died at 100, so we'd all be predicting what our future would be like.So there you have it. Sum up life in 45 words. :) Happy happy.

Lane passed away some day at the age of 100. Lane did not find fortune nor did he find fame, so for some, his life would be considered mediocre. However, he lived the life he wanted to live...a life based on family.